It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. I’d like to say it’s because I’ve been doing really well but the truth is the last couple of months have seen some highs and lows for me. Selling the house has been stressful to say the least and we’re still not there yet. There have been a ton of complex and tiring conversations surrounding the process, finances, delays and complications that some days just completely wiped me out. Then there’s the reality of moving and leaving behind our old life. I’ve accepted it and I’m excited for the fresh start but there’s still a small part of my that is grieving for what we’ve lost. Importantly though I am a complete control freak and the uncertainty surrounding this whole moving house debacle has been my kryptonite!
I’ve had periods where I’ve felt so drained from everything swimming around in my head that I’ve just given in to it. I’ve pulled the duvet downstairs to the couch and lay there for hours or even days just trying to lose myself in a film or tv and forget about the thousands of thoughts trying to fight their way to the front of my mind.
Those are the days that fuel the negativity though. The longer it lasts the harder it is to snap out of it and the more guilt I feel for avoiding life and my responsibilities. Finn can look after himself, don’t get me wrong, but you can certainly tell the difference when I’ve taken my foot off the ball. The house is messier, the laundry piles up and Finns usually in a pretty crappy mood because he hasn’t had anyone to talk to.
Thankfully I have managed to find a way back to feeling relatively normal just in time for the sunshine ☀️ Which I’m putting down to my decision to eat a wholly plant based diet for one week, cutting out the junk food, sugar and alcohol. Not going to lie I did crave a Dominos Meat Feast by the end of the week but it’s made a huge difference to my mood and energy levels. Now I just need to keep up with eating more veggies on a regular basis!
Anyway I guess the point I wanted to get across with this post is this. Sometimes life will knock you down. It’s inevitable. But it isn’t the fall that defines you. It’s the way you choose to get back up. It’s perfectly normal to want to lie there and feel sorry for yourself (depression). Or maybe go over the hundreds of possibilities that await you if you get back up (anxiety). We might jump straight back up and carry on as if nothing has changed (denial). All these responses are to be expected and you can’t judge yourself or anyone else for experiencing them. Personally I’ve found that the problem lies in lingering too long in any of these states. The longer we dwell, suffer or deny the truth the harder it becomes to get back up and being to rebuild what we had lost. We need to be honest with ourselves and be observant of our friends and family to help each other when we’re struggling. Find the techniques that work for you and don’t be afraid to ask for help putting them into practice 😊 x