What do you do when you lose motivation? Trust me I am no expert on this subject but it is something I’ve been struggling with lately. I’m not a lazy person. When I get myself going I don’t stop. The other day I decided to quickly tidy up and do some laundry. Eight hours later … Continue reading Motivation
My heart was racing, pounding as hard as it could against my chest. I felt the air leave my lungs and I struggled to take another breath. My hand was touching the car door but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t open it. My legs went weak and I stared blankly into the distance. Thought after … Continue reading Giving Up
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. Kurt Vonnegut Imagine for a second, you’ve spent three days spring cleaning your house to make it glow before your viewings this weekend. As your busy cleaning the final room you … Continue reading Frustration
The art of life lies in a constant readjustment to our surrounding. Kakuzo Okakura (The Book Of Tea) No-one ever said it would be easy. There were lots of reassuring messages at the time. Everyone wanted to help us feel better about the situation we had found ourselves in. They reminded me that Finn is … Continue reading The Realities of Life After a Stroke
An exciting and inspiring future awaits you beyond the noise in your mind, beyond the guilt, doubt, fear, shame, insecurity and heaviness of the past you carry around. Debbie Ford Guilt. A feeling I know well these days. There is a lot to feel guilty about when you’re the healthy one in your relationship. Firstly, … Continue reading Guilt
I remember crying one night in bed while Finn was still in the hospital. My mum tried to comfort me but all I could think of was that I had lost him. The man lying in the hospital bed wasn’t my husband. He looked like him but it wasn’t him. Finn could only say one … Continue reading The Next Few Weeks
As I walked through the door to recovery my stomach lurched. My new “normal” was waiting on the other side of the doors but I didn’t know it then. I didn’t know what to expect at all. I just knew I had to stay strong for you so I fought back the tears and walked up to the bay that you were lay in. You looked different but the same. A weaker, tired version of my husband and the right side of your face was drooped. I touched your hand and you turned to look at me. Would you recognise me? Could you remember who I am? Those moments were agonising. We had no idea what damage the stroke had done at that point. “Hi” I breathed slowly. Smiling at you as I held your hand “It’s me”.