It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. I’d like to say it’s because I’ve been doing really well but the truth is the last couple of months have seen some highs and lows for me. Selling the house has been stressful to say the least and we’re still not there yet. There have been … Continue reading It isn’t the fall that defines you, it’s how you choose to get back up.
'When you are young, you can lose it all and still have something ' Young - RaeLynn (feat, Leeland Mooring) I was listening to this song on the way to country to country festival this weekend staring out of the train window and trying to fight the overwhelming nausea (I hate those pendolino trains). For … Continue reading What Happens When You Lose Everything
For a long time I was in denial about my role as Finn’s carer. He was able to do most things on his own such as washing, dressing, and eating. The kinds of things you typically associate with caring. I convinced myself that the increased burden I had taken on dealing with our joint but … Continue reading A balancing act…
I thought it might be helpful to show you some of Finn's progress over the past 19 months in order to help show how his aphasia has affected him. This post will focus on his writing skills. The pictures below show some of the writing Finn attempted while still in Salford Royal hospital. Most of … Continue reading Finn’s Aphasia Recovery – Writing
My heart was racing, pounding as hard as it could against my chest. I felt the air leave my lungs and I struggled to take another breath. My hand was touching the car door but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t open it. My legs went weak and I stared blankly into the distance. Thought after … Continue reading Giving Up
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. Kurt Vonnegut Imagine for a second, you’ve spent three days spring cleaning your house to make it glow before your viewings this weekend. As your busy cleaning the final room you … Continue reading Frustration
An exciting and inspiring future awaits you beyond the noise in your mind, beyond the guilt, doubt, fear, shame, insecurity and heaviness of the past you carry around. Debbie Ford Guilt. A feeling I know well these days. There is a lot to feel guilty about when you’re the healthy one in your relationship. Firstly, … Continue reading Guilt
I remember crying one night in bed while Finn was still in the hospital. My mum tried to comfort me but all I could think of was that I had lost him. The man lying in the hospital bed wasn’t my husband. He looked like him but it wasn’t him. Finn could only say one … Continue reading The Next Few Weeks
As I walked through the door to recovery my stomach lurched. My new “normal” was waiting on the other side of the doors but I didn’t know it then. I didn’t know what to expect at all. I just knew I had to stay strong for you so I fought back the tears and walked up to the bay that you were lay in. You looked different but the same. A weaker, tired version of my husband and the right side of your face was drooped. I touched your hand and you turned to look at me. Would you recognise me? Could you remember who I am? Those moments were agonising. We had no idea what damage the stroke had done at that point. “Hi” I breathed slowly. Smiling at you as I held your hand “It’s me”.